Helping Parents Talk About Addiction with Their Teens

Substance use is a topic parents should discuss with their teenagers because it is a topic that can affect or has affected their lives. Every teenager knows that drugs and alcohol exist, and many of them either have someone in their life struggling with substance abuse or are curious about substances themselves.

Drug use and abuse is a topic parents can’t run away from because it is something teenagers are directly dealing with. According to a 2022 survey by Monitoring the Future and the National Institute of Drug Abuse, 11% of eighth graders, 20% of 10th graders and 31% of 12th graders reported illicit drug use in the past year. Fifty-two percent of 12th grade students used alcohol in the past year. These numbers are higher when kids are off school during summer, fall, and winter holidays. Here are a few tips to have a productive conversation with your teen about drugs and addiction.

Know Substance Abuse Can Happen to Anyone

The biggest barrier to speaking with teens about drug and alcohol abuse is how we see our children. We are biased when talking to our kids, so conversations about addiction are ignored because we don’t want to believe that substance use could happen to our kids. Our filtered view of our kids means we either don’t have the conversation at all or we approach it from a very shallow “don’t drink or do drugs” perspective.

Conversations shouldn’t be centered around addiction as something only “troubled teens” deal with but something anyone from any background can deal with, including our children. Parents must speak with or read up on the stories of people dealing with substance use issues. The diversity of backgrounds you read about will help you understand this issue can reach all of us. Share those stories with your teen so they can see how addiction affects teens and young adults of every background.

Promote Honest Conversation and Don’t Shy Away from Answering Questions

Transparency is everything when it comes to having an honest discussion about addiction. Teens will have questions, and you will give them space to ask those questions and answer them the best you can. Be honest about your past experiences with drugs and alcohol as an adult and as a teenager. If you, a friend, or a family member have ever dealt with substance use issues, share how that experience impacted you.

Foster an open dialogue that lets your teen know that it is safe to come to you with questions about drugs and alcohol. Teens discuss this stuff with their friends and see it in media frequently, so you want your kid to feel like they can come to you if they become curious about substances. You don’t want that curiosity to turn into drug use, so make yourself a safe space for discussion. A good conversation requires judgment-free dialogue and the avoidance of scare tactics.

Addiction treatment professionals know that scare tactics aren’t an effective way to discuss drug and alcohol use, but many parents understandably don’t have the background to avoid them. You want to avoid making scary statements or moral judgments because if a teen tries a substance for the first time and that bad thing you said would happen doesn’t happen, then they may not trust you. If a teen feels like they are going to be judged if they ask a question about drugs and alcohol, they may not feel comfortable coming to you.

Thoughtful discussions on substance use and abuse mean treating teenagers like the adults they are growing into and not children who can’t handle challenging conversations.

Talking about addiction can be a harrowing experience for you and your teen, but it is a meaningful conversation to have. Breaking stigmas around addiction requires parents to have honest conversations with their teens. Go into the conversation understanding that substance abuse can affect anyone, be honest about your experiences and answer questions.

Tough conversations require creating a judgment-free space for teens to talk to their parents. This conversation may be challenging, but it pays off long-term. A teen who has a support system to ask questions about addiction is less likely to fall victim to it. FBN

Roy DuPrez, M.Ed., is the CEO and founder of Back2Basics Outdoor Adventure Recovery in Flagstaff. DuPrez received his B.S. and M.Ed. from Northern Arizona University. Back2Basics helps young men, ages 18 to 35, recover from addiction to drugs and alcohol.

Back2Basics is an adventure recovery program, up to six months, for young adult males ages 18-30 with substance abuse issues looking for a positive and meaningful life. In our program, clients are exposed to a weekly combination of both wilderness adventures and residential programming. For more information, visit back2basicsoutdooradventures.com, call 928-814-2220 or email rduprez@b2badventures.com.