How to Talk About Addiction During the Holidays

December is here, which means the holiday season is in full swing. The holidays represent a time of celebration and joy for most families. It is a chance to share time with great company and enjoy time off in a stress-free environment. However, this experience is not universal for everyone. The holiday season can be incredibly stressful for individuals in recovery from alcohol or drug addiction. This time is also stressful for their friends and family members, who are a big part of the recovery process. The holidays are a relapse trigger for those in recovery because coming home for the holidays can mean the return of traumatic memories and trigger lots of negative feelings between family members.

Addiction changes families, and when family dynamics change, discussions can help prevent relapse and also help families and recovering individuals understand the new dynamic and create stronger relationships. Here are a few tips to talk about addiction with family during the holidays.

Set Realistic Expectations and Know Triggers

It is essential to set realistic expectations for the holidays. Entering recovery does not magically change how you feel about friends and family or how they feel about you. If negative feelings were created during the height of addiction, then those feelings are likely to linger during sobriety. This is especially true if those issues were never discussed. Family dynamics can be complicated, so no one should assume that the holidays will be free of the stress of tough conversations. If it is the case, that is great, but set realistic expectations.

It is also important that everyone understands family dynamics and knows which family members could trigger someone in recovery. If someone has a strained relationship with someone in the family, it is important to make a plan for how they engage with them and when they should avoid interacting. Hard conversations are great to have, provided both people want to have them.

Talk About Boundaries Before Everyone Arrives

It is tough to set new boundaries with family, but setting them is crucial to ensure your family member in recovery is entering an environment in which they can thrive. Boundaries with friends and family must be set to foster an environment of recovery. This means calling friends and family and discussing the boundaries that their family members in recovery need. This may mean not drinking around them or avoiding specific triggering conversations. Schedule significant conversations everyone agrees to so no one feels like they are being ganged up on. Discussing boundaries beforehand is important because it gives everyone a chance to process them and gives everyone a chance to decline to attend holiday gatherings if they can’t respect those boundaries.

Create New Family Traditions

For many families, holiday traditions involve drinking. There might be drinking at the holiday party or dinner. Recovery requires creating a safe environment for your family member to maintain sobriety. Traditions centered around drinking could cause relapse, so family members must change or start new traditions not centered around alcohol. Create holiday traditions that focus on health and connecting. Maybe you do a family hike or, instead of having drinks by the fire, use that time to reconnect and have deeper conversations. This will help create new family dynamics away from alcohol.

Encourage Going to Meetings

You must give your family member in recovery a chance to deal with the holidays in ways that do not involve the entire family. Encourage your family members to continue attending group meetings during the holidays. Narcotics Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous and other support groups are great ways to connect with like-minded people trying to maintain sobriety during a stressful holiday season. Encourage your family member to attend regular meetings if they are in town and find a local meeting if they are traveling for the holidays. Most support groups continue to hold virtual and in-person meetings, so access to these meetings is easier than ever. FBN

 By Roy DuPrez

Arizonans looking for a Narcotics Anonymous meeting can find one at arizona-na.org. Arizonans looking for an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting can find one at alcoholicsanonymous.com/aa-meetings/Arizona.

Roy DuPrez, M.Ed., is the CEO and founder of Back2Basics Outdoor Adventure Recovery in Flagstaff. DuPrez received his B.S. and M.Ed. from Northern Arizona University. Back2Basics helps young men, ages 18 to 35, recover from addiction to drugs and alcohol. Back2Basics is an adventure recovery program, up to six months, for young adult males ages 18-30 with substance abuse issues looking for a positive and meaningful life. In our program, clients are exposed to a weekly combination of both wilderness adventures and residential programming. For more information, visit back2basicsoutdooradventures.com, call 928-814-2220 or email rduprez@b2badventures.com