Robles said meetings and honest communication are key to dealing with triggers during the holidays.
Recovery represents a reset and a chance to live a sober life and put things into a different perspective. That first time coming home for the holidays in recovery is often an opportunity to flip the dynamic of the holidays on its head: to turn the holidays into a positive experience or, at the very least, an experience you can live through in a healthy manner. The excitement and tension of that first Christmas back home is something Back2Baiscs residents know all too well, and I wanted to share the experience of two recent B2B graduates and how they are approaching the rest of the holiday season.
Emmanuel Robles and Tony Jones are both recent Back2Basics graduates. Before getting sober, Robles thought of the holidays as a time to disconnect and disengage from a family he was once very close to.
“Before sobriety, the holiday season was not something I looked forward to,” Robles said. “I was distant from my family and would use any excuse I had to leave early, show up late or hide in my room. My family is very close and wanted to be close to me, but I would never be present in the moment.”
For Jones, the holidays were more than just a disconnected period, but an actively traumatizing event spurred on by the loss of a family member right before Christmas.
“The holidays were never a good time for me since I lost my little brother in an accident right before Christmas,” Jones said. This time of year has always been traumatic for me, and by the time I was in my 20s, I dealt with that trauma with alcohol. Every year would get progressively worse until I got treatment.”
For both graduates, treatment played an important role in giving them the tools to recontextualize this time of year in a more positive light. For Robles, the biggest issue he faced during the holidays was a disconnect he had with friends and family. While he was in B2B, he did not leave Flagstaff to visit his family in Phoenix during the holidays. His family would come to visit him, but he needed a space away from home to reconnect with himself.
Robles’ first sober holiday season was spent with residents of B2B and the broader sober community in Flagstaff. Robles said this period was essential in helping him connect with a group of like-minded people who shared many of the same traumas and overcame the same challenges.
“I was in the program during my first Thanksgiving and Christmas and I remember we hung out at Tony’s house with other sober people eating and enjoying each other’s company,” Robles said. “These connections with the Flagstaff sober community were so important to me because it was the first time I saw people in my situation and showed I had a community to help me in sobriety.”
Tony Jones said the time he spent in the B2B program gave him the tools to manage the trauma he had over the holidays.
“The underlying trauma I have about this time of year doesn’t go away but treatments such as trauma therapy and programs such as AA helped develop a mental shift that allows me to deal with it,” Jones said. “Now, when my mind starts going down a dark hole, I have a little light at the end I can follow to get out. If my mind is not in the right place, I know that I have AA or that I can do some therapy work to change my perspective.”
Robles is spending the holidays with his family in Phoenix this year and he is excited to be present and reconnect with them. He and Jones both said that the best tool to deal with triggers during the holidays is being honest with those around you about what you are feeling.
“I spent so much time being dishonest in addiction I have found that openness is one of the best ways to deal with triggers,” Jones said. “If I feel like I am hiding something, I know that is a sign to start talking about it or start praying for the people I am mad at. Being honest allows me to figure out the issue, talk it out and enjoy the little things.”
Robles said meetings and honest communication are key to dealing with triggers during the holidays.
“If you are dealing with triggers this holiday, be an open book and communicate with your family about what you need,” Robles said. “Look up places you can go for support. I know where I can go for AA meetings in Phoenix if I need it. Be honest with the people around you about what you need.”
Most importantly, both graduates said it is important to stay connected with the sober community around you. They know what you are going through and can help you overcome challenges during the holiday season. FBN
By Roy DuPrez
Roy DuPrez, M.Ed., is the CEO and founder of Back2Basics Outdoor Adventure Recovery in Flagstaff. DuPrez received his B.S. and M.Ed. from Northern Arizona University. Back2Basics helps young men, ages 18 to 35, recover from addiction to drugs and alcohol.
Back2Basics is an adventure recovery program, up to six months, for young adult males ages 18-30 with substance abuse issues looking for a positive and meaningful life. In our program, clients are exposed to a weekly combination of both wilderness adventures and residential programming. For more information, visit back2basicsoutdooradventures.com, call 928-814-2220 or email rduprez@b2badventures.com.