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Try a Little Tenderness

It’s February, Valentine’s Day – and it’s all about love. Usually, this is about love for others, expressed through flowers, chocolates, massages and nice cards. There is also a gift to the self that allows giving greater love to others.

Humans seem hardwired to look for the negative. This serves as a survival purpose. Being aware of threats to existence is crucial to living to the next day and continuing the species. The next level is being alert to the negative, things which cause injury to the self or damage to social standing. Lastly and least vital is noticing the positive.

These days, there are relatively few things that are a threat to existence. Flying in a plane, sharks, snakes and spiders may seem life threatening, but seldom are fatal. Things that are truly life threatening, like smoking or excessive eating, sitting, drinking or using pain medications seldom rise to the level of immediate concern. Everyday negative threats, like eating spoiled food, failing a test, getting fired, a poor grade, not getting a date, being rejected by a group, public speaking, doing poorly in a performance or athletic event are much higher in the conscious. There is heightened focus on perceived personal faults and inadequacies. All this attention on negative factors leaves little bandwidth for noticing the positive externally and internally. An exercise to train the mind to notice the positive is simply keeping a list. At the end of each day, record:

Three things that were positive today;

Three things to be grateful for;

Three things positive about one’s self.

Interestingly, most people have a greater struggle with the last item. Being more tender with one’s self allows more space to give to others.

It’s Not Too Late to Make a Resolution

Many resolutions have bit the dust. But, no need to give up. There is help in achieving those goals. FBN

By Don Berlyn

For more information on becoming more positive, recovering goals or anything related to using the power of the mind contact Don Berlyn at 928-699-8263, flaghypno@gmail.com or FlagstaffHypnotherapy.com. Consultations are always free!


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